I read very few newspapers nowadays, and it’s fairly rare that I actually watch terrestrial TV, including the news.
I have however noticed a spate of articles from women recently on a similar theme - the lack of availability of good men, particularly those available to women in their thirties and forties.
I have also for the last several years been technically single and ‘available’ on the dating market. In this post I wish to look at the same issues and bring them together.
For the last two or three decades there has been a Cold War between the sexes. Mainstream media has kept up a constant narrative of complaints and belittling of man. Watch any advert on terrestrial TV and I think it’s a good bet that the women in such adverts will be displayed as confident intelligent, problem solving, high achievers. Men however will be portrayed as hopeless incompetents, arrogant bullies, or emotional cripples. This same trend is seen in drama, and certainly in many of the major films released over the last few years. This is nothing more than a slightly watered-down version of mainstream feminist theory, where women are seen as the innocent victims, powerless to affect or change their lot in life, yet more capable, mature and generally impressive than men, who are de facto members of the sinister and oppressive patriarchy, which controls everyday life and ensures that men stay on top and women stay subservient. This offensive drivel is so mainstream nowadays that most men no longer even notice.
A significant number of us, however, have noticed and are we sick of it. We are told that simply being male means we are toxic. Imagine saying that about ANY other immutable characteristic – you would face outcry, and possibly legal sanction, as well as ostracism and potential loss of job, friends and social life.
Women tell the truth and should be believed. W0men never allege rape falsely. Violence is typically male, as is coarse, insensitive or offensive speech, and uncouth, antisocial and damaging behaviour in general. All of this is either plain wrong, gross over simplification, or seriously contested in the literature. Many studies, as well as common experience, demonstrate that a gathering of women is as likely to use crude, and sexist language at least as offensive as a comparable male-only group. Studies from around the world show that domestic violence (DV) is close to 50/50, rather than to being exclusively, or even predominantly, male on female. (Evidence also shows that, when we compare lesbian, heterosexual and gay long-term relationships or marriages, the order of reported DV is lesbian most, gay next and heterosexual least). Yet so effective has been the feminist propaganda that most people find it hard, if not impossible, to accept these facts, remaining convinced that the overwhelming amount of DV is male on female.
(I have written on these matters before in this blog, so I'm not going to provide a list of sources to support the assertions made here - please check earlier blog postings for those).
Women have, at the same time, been relieved of responsibility for bad things happening to them, been given social, institutional and legal privileges, and portrayed as virtuous, innocent and oppressed. The pseudo-academic underpinning is laughably crap, lacking any significant scholarship and frequently nothing more than meaningless verbiage. The details of this are part of a wider shift in left-based politics, since the effective end of Marxism as a valid theoretical basis for political and economic policy. Many good books and articles are beginning to appear at last, but even venturing into this area is dangerous and brings with it the threat of major backlash from those who see themselves as woke.
Fortunately, I am at a time in my life where I am the least vulnerable to the threats posed by the social justice brigade, so I feel both able and three to speak my mind on the matter in this article.
Speaking generally, I believe that western women have become increasingly entitled, infantilised narcissists, with a victim mentality, and a complete lack of self-awareness when it comes to the matter of their own strengths and weaknesses. They generally have hugely over-inflated ideas of their desirability in the dating marketplace, largely as a result of men giving them constant validation, whilst hoping to simp their way into her knickers (here's the thing - it DOESN'T WORK, women say they want sensitive men, but that is not supported by observation and empirical data which tends to show that the great majority of women secretly desire forceful, controlling, 'white knight' types - if you doubt this then look at the things women fantasise about in fiction - romantic novels, which are more or less confined to women - and you will find a fairly predictable plot, involving some handsome and powerful man who the woman eventually wins).
If we use a crude 1 to 10 scale of attractiveness, from the perspective of the opposite sex, women who rate no more than a 4 or 5, frequently describe themselves as 8s, 9s or even 10s. Since women are also overwhelmingly hypergamous (i.e. they almost never marry down in status), this means that the large majority of women go after men in the very top bracket - a 9 or 10. In reality, these men are, and have always been, very scarce. Such men are likely to be either playing the field, with multiple women, or already in a relationship with a younger woman, who is likely to be more fertile for longer than an older woman).
So we find that women in their 30s and 40s, with their ludicrously over-inflated sense of self-value, aim at men who are way above them in status. These women do not find an abundance of such men willing to date them. (Women also usually deal with rejection very badly, largely because, from puberty to age about 30, they would have been rarely rejected by men - on the rare occasions THEY had to make the move. Even very average looking 20-30 yr old women, 5s and 6s, can find very presentable men, 7s or 8s. without trouble.)
This also means, since women are the gatekeepers for sex, that an increasing number of men are not finding women of similar worth to their own - we call these men INCELS- Involuntary Celibates.
So, women complain about a lack of decent men (who are still around in the same numbers, and still dating younger women). At the same time more and more men are bitter and frustrated by the lack of even average women available to them, as average or above average males.
When this is coupled to the huge bias in favour of women in most areas of society, it makes marriage a very unpalatable option for any thinking man. Women instigate most divorce proceedings, do much better in the family courts, and are usually believed when they claim abuse from their ex-partner. They are also treated unfairly through the social, local governmental, and legal systems. A woman can (and they do)) destroy the career of a man with just a word. Rather than 'believe all women', we should acknowledge that women generally lie situationally - when they feel it required - and often do so unashamedly and skilfully. They use sex as a weapon of control (firstly to lure a man in with frequent and fantastic sex, only for most to later heavily reduce frequency and enjoyment of sex once a man is committed). Women are also increasingly unlikely to have, or be willing to use, the most basic 'domestic' skills, and generally arrive in a relationship with an expectation of special treatment - we call this entitlement - as summarised in a popular TV advert tagline - because we're worth it.
In short, more and more men are realising that the whole issue of long-term relationships with women is best avoided completely. Such men sometimes call themselves MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way - which basically means not looking for women to marry, date or, in most cases, to share any significant part of their life.
I recently decided that this is also my attitude, so I now count myself MGTOW.
I realised that I have aged pretty well, am fairly comfortable, have many interests and hobbies. To be honest, other than sex, I don't feel any woman shaped hole in my life, and certainly not one that would be worth the many downsides.
So I’m off Tinder, and not looking for female company or validation. At my age that isn’t such a big thing - nearly 60 and unlikely to find a life-partner even if I wanted one. To be sure the flesh is still more than willing, and, of course, I still feel the urge for sex, but thankfully less intensely than the younger me.
Nowadays many much younger men are been shown the facts by their MGTOW brothers - a process known as becoming ‘red pilled’) and many of these men are also swearing off women. This 'word to the wise' about women was once delivered by fathers, brothers or older male relatives to young men. Today this is increasingly rare - largely because men are nervous about ANY criticism of women as a group, knowing they will most likely face abuse and possible social and financial ruin. Explaining how women really behave is not flattering to that sex, and involves delivering a few home truths of a rather shocking nature. Few fathers can risk this and, as a result,, many young men remain ignorant about females, and rely on the distorted and largely misleading fantasy women they see portrayed in the media. This sets them up for failure.
Fortunately MGTOW men are increasingly stepping into this role and mentoring younger men. Unfortunately for society and for older women, MGTOW men are generally much more graphic and uncensored, when describing female nature. This leads to many young men, rightly in my view, realising the nature of the game and seeing that the game is so heavily stacked, and puts them entirely at the whim of their female partner. In short the game isn't worth the admission price. Far better and more rational to work on oneself. Later in life - maybe the 40s or even 50s - one can have a choice of women, who will be attracted by the status and wealth one has accumulated. Support for this view is provided by statistics in the UK and the US which show increasing numbers of men completely opting out of long-relationships and marriage.
The movement is much larger than most think, and growing fast. It may seem short-sighted, selfish, even irresponsible, but most of us couldn’t care less. Women have brought this on themselves - the constant abuse, complaints and contempt for men, along with the invasion of traditional male spaces, and increased pressure on men to act in a more feminine manner, was bound to provoke reaction, and is that many men have re-examined the behaviour of women more critically, resulting in 'red pill' knowledge of female nature coming out of MGTOW writings. They question the socially accepted wisdom about relationships with women. What they see is not a pretty sight, but men have an almost total lack of voice in changing the situation – a straight white man is, after all, just a over-privileged scumbag. (It is instructive that statements like the last one raise few eyebrows, are allowed to be spoken, shouted, or even printed, with no fear of reprisals, or attempt to punish the unbelievable racism, sexism and downright nastiness that such claims display. This dual standard becomes increasingly apparent in society when one begins to really look.)
So, ladies, we MGTOW men have decided to leave you to it. We are not bitter or angry (for the most part) so we just smile as we walk away and wish you well in your newly constructed hell. Speaking for myself and other MGTOWs I know, the main commonality is a fairly complete lack of interest in the views and demands of women in general, and a strong determination to keep women at a distance where practical, to avoid romantic attachments and commitments at all costs, and to focus our attention, resources and efforts into improving ourselves. Women and male apologists find this alarming and usually resort to tried and tested tactics - shaming, insulting and belittling. MGTOW are described as gay, or as bitter damaged men who haven't the courage to re-enter the dating market and are, instead, sulking like children, Certainly a number of MGTOW are damaged by previous relationships, but many more are, like myself, not particularly damaged, bitter or resentful because of personal experience.
MGTOW men are not generally lacking courage, intelligence or virility. They are not pathetic losers who can't deal with their male fragility and have run away crying. Rather they are often men who have looked long, hard, and above all rationally, at the roles, requirements and expectations imposed on modern men, and have decided that, on the whole, heterosexual relationships are a mug's game, which offers, at best, very small odds of delivering lasting stability and companionship for men. In the majority of cases the man will be badly damaged - emotionally, financially and socially - if (as most marriages do) it ends in divorce. In the meantime, men have no say in whether they will become parents or not, and will be compelled to pay for any child conceived - and continue to do so for years - even if they did not want to become a parent. Astonishingly this is true even if the woman uses deception to become pregnant. (MGTOW men can tell many tales of women deliberately lying about birth control, and a surprisingly large number of cases where women have used freshly discarded condoms to impregnate themselves). The man has to just hope that his partner will be honest, and not decide to use him as an unwilling sperm donor and 18 year meal ticket.
So, in the words of the great man - "Fuck that for a game of soldiers". (Or, to paraphrase Eric Cartman "Screw you guys, we're going our own way.")
Now women can stop asking where all the good men went, and men can stop putting up with the shit they were expected to tolerate. This means, at the very least, that everyone will be at least a bit better informed, and some may even be a little happier :-)
You are welcome to give us a bell, but only if and when it once more makes financial, legal and emotional sense for men to consider marriage again. Until that unlikely (and certainly far-off) time, our parting message is simple, calm, and anger-free. Ladies, you do you, and we will do ourselves. Byeeeeeeee.